EmDog
About EmDog
Emily
Stone Davis says her three
proudest accomplishments are
1)attending one true "
2)daring to live her dream
of doing comedy in LA and then being smart enough to recognize when it was
time to build a nest away from hobos masturbating on the tree lawn and
taking drink orders from the set of Entertainment
Tonight. Mary Hart, by the way, drinks a
decaf grande soy latte. And,
3) raising two fairly well
adjusted, happy children and one awesome man.
Emily has a BA in Theater
Arts and Spanish from
or on her Tumblr blog: http://stuffformymemoir.tumblr.com/
No Problem
I just RSVP’d for a party my
seven-year-old is attending. Tomorrow.
My yard was a mess for her birthday party earlier this month. The patio
was so over-grown all we could do was shrug our shoulders and weed-whack
it. And, I am pretty sure all the kids
at the party need new shoes because of all the mud.
I am sometimes the last parent in the pick-up line and sometimes I am so late I have to park
and go in to get my children from the office.
I signed up for bird-feeder filling duty at my son’s school at the
beginning of the year when he was in kindergarten. I even had a phone conversation with the mom
who coordinated it. She was so glad I
had called because she really needed someone to take over for a while since she
was expecting a baby. I hung up the
phone and the birds and their feed never entered my mind again until spring.
Today my husband told me I looked like the boy from Meatballs and My Body Guard.
For some reason at age 40 my hair has decided to be curly and I haven’t had it
cut since June. This morning I took off my bike helmet
after I got to work and looked like thought I was riding to 1980.
And you know what I have to say for myself? You’re welcome. You are so welcome. De nada.
I’m the mom that makes you feel better about your own shortcomings. You may let your kids eat too much candy but
at least you manage to follow social norms and RSVP on time. You may have a few Dandelions in the front
yard but at least you’re not risking a tick infestation when you use the
back-yard grill. So you didn’t meet your
quota of entertainment book sales but you also weren’t responsible for the Bird
Famine of 2007.
You are welcome, my comrades. The
pleasure is all mine. And, thanks,
sister. Because I may always be running
late but at least by kid’s finger isn’t buried up to her knuckle in her
nose. So, feel free to come to school
wearing a t-shirt with a stain from last night’s spagettios. Out of a can.
I got your back.
But, be on time for drop-off on Wednesday, okay? By then I will have snapped and cut my own
hair and that, my friends, will keep you going for another week, at
least.
